The Atari Speakerhat is a sure-fire way to lose friends [Sticky or Not]

atari speakerhat

If you’re a proud, old-school gamer about to head out the door with your fitted cap and Bluetooth speaker, hold on for a minute and take a seat — I need to tell you about a technology innovation that’ll change your life.

Atari is releasing a line of branded ‘Speakerhats’ in partnership with Audiowear, the originators of the headgear innovation.

The Speakerhat features two high-fidelity speakers woven into the underside of the cap’s bill. VentureBeat reporter Dean Takahashi reports that “they produce sound that you can as if you had a smartphone headset on your ears” — which is not exactly a rousing recommendation of the sound quality.

He also stated that since the speakers point downward, others can’t really hear the sounds from the speakers “at lower volumes.”

Lest you think the hat is just for publicly listening to music with middling sound quality, it also features a microphone that can connect to your phone via Bluetooth for things like phone calls and voice control.

There’s also a multiplayer mode for playing the same audio on multiple hats, which — if I had to think of a practical application — could perhaps be used for mass mind operation a la the Chum Bucket Bucket Helmet.

According to Atari, the hats are part of a broader revival strategy that includes the company’s forthcoming PC-based game console Ataribox.

“With the recent reveal of our Ataribox project and now with Speakerhats, we envision a full range of connected personal devices that live at society’s intersection of entertainment, technology, and social connectivity that legendary film worlds like Blade Runner 2049 foretell,” says Michael Arzt, chief operating officer of the new Atari Connect division told VentureBeat.

Naturally, the company is also planning to release a limited edition Blade Runner Speakerhat.

Verdict: Not sticky!

I’m not going to do a whole long explanation of why this hat isn’t sticky. You already know.

Do you really want to walk around in public with music blasting your face from the rim of your fitted? No? I didn’t think so.

Having said that, would I have purchased this as a young idiot in college? Almost definitely.

Let us know what you think in the comments below — and if you’re really bent on getting this monstrosity, you can enter for the chance to nab one of 10 beta tester positions for the hat here.